Top Ten Exercises to Become a Better Equestrian
>
> 10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right
> away. Shout, 'Get off, stupid, GET OFF!!!'
>
> 9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice 'relaxing into the
> fall.' Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.
>
> 8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a
> $200 check without even blinking an eye.
>
> 7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and
> tell the neighbors what you are doing; they might as well know now.
>
> 6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice
> pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.
>
> 5. Hone your fibbing skills: 'See, Hon? Moving hay bales is FUN!'
> and, 'No, really, I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million
> dollar horse won the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard
> work and actual ability won me second place.'
>
> 4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms
> paralyzed and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
>
> 3. Borrow the U.S. Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be: bitten,
> thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...
>
> 2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding
> clothes and repeat to yourself, 'This is a learning experience, this
> is a learning experience, this is...'
>
> 1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN: