Posted 2010-11-25 10:38 AM (#127447) Subject: So hard to say goodbye!
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Posts: 1351
Location: Decatur, Texas
Did not want to make such a sad note on a great day but needed to vent, Thanks for looking. HTB
I wrote this a couple of nights ago and now will be spending our Thanksgiving day with one of our ol' guys and giving thanks for having such a great horse.
Tank, How do I tell you good bye? 11/22/10
How does one talk to or tell a horse how you feel about them? You talk to them but do they really understand? This big boy has lived a good life (well at least since Toni has owned him). Toni rescued TANK back in 1999 from a bar junkie that was a so called friend. This horse was under weight the lady did not even own a trailer and the horse would not even load in a trailer. Toni spent hours one Saturday working with Tank, got him loaded and took him to where her horses was being kept to help this lady out. Well as it ends up, the lady never came back and Toni owns him now.
Tank pretty much matched his name (after he got back in shape) he was roughly 16hh and every bit of 1400lbs! He was the best baby setter anyone could ever ask for. He not only taught me a lot about riding, but he also taught my daughter how to ride and barrel race although he was a roping horse by trade we later found out he could run barrels, poles and any do playday event there was. He was by no means a fast horse but he would give it 100% every time. When Toni got him he was somewhere around 15/18 years old per a couple of vets in 1999, now guessing he is around 30 he is 100% retired and really going down hill fast. We actually retired him a few years back. Then Toni started doing horsemanship and riding lessons so she brought him out of retirement to use him as a lesson horse. He worked out great for that as well, he knew what was right and wrong and if someone was on him doing the wrong things, he would make them right! The last couple of years has been tough on him with the hot summers and colder winters., he has lost a bunch of weight but still has a great mind about him. We have tried different senior feeds and he just has nothing to do with them. It is like he is telling us he is not a senior yet. Toni and I have been talking about doing something before it is too late and too hard for him but seems like every time we talk about it he gives us a look like “no it’s not time yet” so we put it off a while longer. Now colder weather is here and Tank is losing even more weight, he is still eating good, drinking water and pretty much doing his daily deal. But tonight after feeding everyone when talking to him he just stood and looked at me as if he was staying it was time now.
So I told him tonight how much I loved him and thanked him for being such a great part of my life then hugged him a little longer. I am going to make this my daily routine until the day comes to say “good bye”!
Tank you will be missed, until we meet again, Thank you and I love you.
Posted 2010-11-25 3:05 PM (#127449 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Elite Veteran
Posts: 824
Location: Kansas
Wow, I was there a couple of years ago myself and I am crying as I read this. I just prayed he would lay down and fall asleep but I was not given that gift and had to decide to listen to him tell me the time was right. It was just at this time of year too, in fact on the 27th of November. So, know that there are others who truly feel your pain. He was my best friend when I moved 2000 miles away from family; my only friend for awhile. They give us so much more than we can ever give them. I believe he knows and is just waiting for you to hear him. God bless.
Posted 2010-11-25 6:53 PM (#127456 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
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Posts: 1205
Location: Arkansas
Ah......you've brought tears to our eyes.......we have been right there.......vaya con Dios, Tank................
There are 3 old campaigners here, buried, that we still speak of often, of their great hearts, minds, and personalities.........memories.......remember Doc toting cubes on old Susie, tolling in the cattle...and just yesterday, spoke of Shadow, who carried the U. S. flag under the single spotlight, only later we figured out it completely blinded him as he loped along the long wall of the arena, but he persevered without a wobble.....and Baron......who gave a 100% every time, and who, tho drawing for air and straining........when your life depended on it, would bear down and found more reflexes, speed, and grit to come through..he never quit and never panicked, and had the reflexes of cat on crack....we miss em all, and loved them. We love them still.
Bless you for taking care of Tank throughout the years, and now, as well.
Posted 2010-11-25 7:56 PM (#127460 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
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Posts: 1351
Location: Decatur, Texas
Thanks so much for all of your kind words.
We just got in from the barn loving on him once again and giving him a few extra treats. We was praying for him just to fall asleep but it never happens that way. We tried all day to talk ourself out of having to do this but in our heart we know it is the best for him.
Thanks once again, HTB
Atleast he will be back to his normal self and size again soon. Vet is going to be here at 10am.
Posted 2010-11-25 8:01 PM (#127461 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 430
Location: TN
I'll remember to keep you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow morning. Just remember you're showing him how much you really care! The true act of love is being able to let another go for their own good and not keeping them around for ourselves. God bless!
Posted 2010-11-26 8:31 AM (#127467 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
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Posts: 2614
It brought more than tears to my face,it brought them down my face in sobs.I was there many years ago,losing my first beloved little horse to tetanus.The vet came out and gave us the bleak diagnosis,we had no idea.When I got off of the bus the next day,I ran to the barn.It was empty.I remember that feeling of loss and heartache even now.You can say to your Tank,"Well done,you've been a good and faithful servant."
Posted 2010-11-26 3:38 PM (#127477 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Elite Veteran
Posts: 681
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
HTB.. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry for your loss.. I know it is a hard thing to send a loved pet home before you. He will be waiting for you when your time comes. God Bless.
Posted 2010-11-27 10:33 AM (#127498 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Expert
Posts: 1351
Location: Decatur, Texas
Well I guess you cold say we feel alittle better today. Yesterday was HARD! The vet showed up at 10 and we went out for Tank and he knew it was time. Walk up to us and put hs head right into his halter. When we pulled his blanket off we ask the vet and he say yes it is time, so I guess that also put us at ease.
Thank you all for the uplifting words, I know he is much better off and will have all the green pastures anyone could ever want.
Posted 2010-11-27 3:21 PM (#127501 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 391
Location: Columbia, KY
HTB, I cried and cried reading about Tank, and also everyone's replies. 2 yrs. ago we lost our great Rushcreek Mare, Quenby. I'd had her for over 20 years. She was a wonderful horse and could do it all- CTR, endurance, team penning, parades... when she was nearly 27 she went downhill fast and I dreaded the day I'd have to make that decision, but in the end she told me and in a way it was easier. Tank sounds like he was a wonderful horse and got to do all kinds of fun things in his life. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted 2010-11-27 8:37 PM (#127505 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
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Posts: 1351
Location: Decatur, Texas
Thanks, I wish we had owned him longer, but the time we had was the best. He was an all out team roping horse before we rescued him and had minor shoulder problems on the left side. That is the only reason we retired him from roping.
I told my better half last night that I better go before my baby goes after being this bad with Tank and having the chance to be apart of his life for a short time. My baby is just turned 10 and I have had her since she was a yearling and the best part is she acts like him but not as big as he was in his prime.
Posted 2010-11-28 7:37 AM (#127512 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
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Posts: 5870
Location: western PA
To some owners, horses are a possession, a commodity to buy and sell for profit or as a tool to use. To others, they are a lifetime commitment, adopted and treated as family members. These are the lucky ones.
They have time to bond, learn and share new adventures. They discover the moods of their owners, and let them know they have their bad days too. They are used and appreciated, and rewarded with excellent care and many treats. They respond to the hugs and soothing words, the hours of being brushed, and put up with the clipping and grooming.
HE loaned these magnificient animals to a select few, entrusting their care and lives to us. Our task is to properly and faithfully care for them as well as posssible. It is a symbionic relationship, one that benefits both species. While providing care, we gain a great deal of pleasure in sharing their lives, while ensuring their needs are met. Love with animals is not only a possibility, it is a probability. Some of these are better friends and offer more loyality than the humans we know. We are not judged by them, and their needs are basic.
As your relationship grows through the years, and your horse matures, you experience an even stronger bond as your time is shared. Then enevitably, the the bouts of lameness and illnesses occure more frequently. Riding time is now spent in healing, and finally retirement is a reality. Sometimes a new horse will replace them, but as they graze peacefully, their working careers ended, they are as endearing as ever. Your empathy is complete, as you compare their lives to your own, and hope you will be as well loved and cared for under similar circumstances.
When the end comes and you provided a quick, painless, loving, goodbye, you can be pleased, while knowing that you have met your appointed task, and done it well. Your horse thrived because of your care and attention. He enjoyed life and shared it with you.
When you are asleep, you can dream of the wind in your face, as you sit astride his strong body, and he effortlessly carries you across this earth. The strength of his muscles, the rythm of his body, the sound of his hooves are forever imprinted in your memory. You only have to recall these moments, to once again share the pleasure of this great animal.
Only a relatively small number of people, are fortunate enough to have experienced these events, and shared the emotions. You were chosen and rewarded for your efforts. You are a special person, and worthy of the trust placed into your hands. You have done well Kelly, and should be proud of how well you shared this life. His death wasn't a goodbye, it was a pause until you see him again. When you next meet, you and he will be in your prime, there will be no pain, all joy and many miles left to cover.
Posted 2010-11-28 9:46 AM (#127517 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
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Posts: 282
Location: southcentral pennsylvania
HTB,
Your post brought tears to my eyes as I remember the seven beloved equine friends I have held over the past 40 years as they drew their last breaths. They are all buried here on the farm. They are put in our care for too short a time! My philosophy is that they are put in my care to help take them through this world, and I will be there with them when they go to next!
Posted 2010-11-28 10:28 PM (#127555 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
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Posts: 1351
Location: Decatur, Texas
We had a great trail ride today, had to get out and get some fresh air after the long week we had. I rode my 8 year old gelding Bear that is 15hh and 1400lbs and caught myself I don't know how many times calling him Tank. At one point I starting laughing so hard while we were running through the trees I almost fell off with tears running down my face. Toni ask me what happened and I told her nothing at all other than Bear trots and lopes just like Tank did. (short strided and like a bull dozer) So Tank is not only with me in memory, I also have a part of him in 2 of my other horses as well.
So hard to think a grown man crys like a baby.........
Posted 2010-12-28 2:27 PM (#128329 - in reply to #127561) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Location: Colorado
Originally written by sinful on 2010-11-29 5:08 AM
Originally written by hogtownboss on 2010-11-28 10:28 PM
So hard to think a grown man crys like a baby.........
There isn't a thing wrong with that.
Just read this, Kelley- I'm sure sorry for your loss. And I guess if they didn't touch our heart, there might not be any tears......but they do touch us in a way few things can.
Posted 2010-12-28 7:27 PM (#128341 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Elite Veteran
Posts: 690
Location: missouri
We are sorry for you, and wishing him "Godspeed" and peace... Some of us have old, infirm animals that have carried us so many happy miles! Be so glad that you had the joy of sharing life with them. I am NOT "holy-rolly", but I do know that the companionship and love we know with horses (and dogs) is heavenly. I hope you have great pictures and memorys with Tank.
I have a very old barrel horse who I treasure. Big Red has earned his home here until one of us is gone.
Posted 2011-01-19 6:54 PM (#129047 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Regular
Posts: 93
Location: Cherokee, Ia
This hits close to home here also. In August of 2010, I had to say goodbye to my best friend, 29yr old Scat was with us for almost 15 years. Roped a lot of calves, taught both my young daughters to barrel race, (even tho' he had never seen a barrel when we got him at 14!) Carried my 3 yr old granddaughter around the farm with the utmost care. He too started to lose weight 2 yrs ago, and no matter how much senior feed, good grass and hay he ate, he never got it back. I sure miss him nickering to me every morning for his grain. I am really thankful that "he" decided it was time. He was down, not hurting, just laid down, and could not get back up. I held his head in my lap for 2 hours, then the vet came. It took 3 shots for him to say goodbye, vet said he had a huge heart... that I already knew. I am proud to have had the honor to have him in my life, and wish more people would understand that they are not "just hayburners" They are our family. We have lost a few over the years,3 in a snowstorm on the hiway, one to colic, and you never get over it, but it warms your heart to "remember" them every day! So glad horses are a part of my life. Like I say, you havent "lived" until you've been on a horse!
Posted 2011-01-27 10:00 PM (#129371 - in reply to #127447) Subject: RE: So hard to say goodbye!
Expert
Posts: 1351
Location: Decatur, Texas
I have been out for a while and forgot I posted about TANK "our ol'man" on here. There is not a day that goes by that I don't stop at his stall and think about him a few mins. and his stall is still empty. Thank you all again for your replies it is so nice to know that all horse (animal)people feel the same way. This last month I have been riding one of my other horses that is 15hh and 1400lbs pretty much built like TANK was and acts just like he did on the trails and I found myself calling him TANK everytime I turned around.
Guess old habbits are hard to break! Just a little thing we do when we go out riding is talk to our horses...... Sounds stupid I know but its a animal person thing I guess.