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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 362
 
Location: Allegan, Michigan | This was too cute not to share
10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right
away. Instead, shout, "Get Off, Stupid! GET OFF!"
9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the
fall." Roll into a ball and spring lithely to your feet.
8. Learn to grab your checkbook and write out a $200 check without
even looking down.
7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and
tell the neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now.
6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice
pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.
5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See, moving hay bales is FUN!"
and, "No, really, I'm glad YOUR LUCKY PERFORMANCE and multi-million
dollar horse won the class. I am just thankful that MY HARD WORK and
actual ability won me second place."
4. Practice dialing your vet while paralyzed to the shoulder and with one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be - bitten,
thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...
2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding
clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience. This
is a learning experience. This is . . ."
AND THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN:
1. Remember, its never the horse's fault...
Edited by mrstacticalmedic 2008-01-18 7:52 AM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1069
Location: MI. | Cute..... |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 335
Location: Decatur, Texas | Reminds me of what our sons used to whisper in the horses' ear before we entered the show ring. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Horses that don't win Soon become glue. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 362
Location: Allegan, Michigan | That is cute too Longrider! I will have to remember that one come show season..lol.. |
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Veteran
Posts: 196
Location: WI | Originally written by Longrider on 2008-01-18 10:49 AM Reminds me of what our sons used to whisper in the horses' ear before we entered the show ring. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Horses that don't win Soon become glue. Humph.... I emailed this to my wife (directed at her fancy-schmancy show horse), and she comes back with this: Husbands are great Husbands are superb But if they pick on your horse They are kicked to the curb!!! |
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.jpg) Expert
Posts: 2828
 
Location: Southern New Mexico | I love that one. Thanks Hank! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 489
Location: CA | You've got a good wife, Hank!  Hang on to her, she has spunk! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 362
Location: Allegan, Michigan | Yep thought I had posted this... I had a stroke in December and couldn't remember if it was this list I had posted it on or another..lol.. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 489
Location: CA | Sorry to hear you had a stroke, and I'm glad you're back on the site! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 824
Location: Kansas | Wondered if you had dropped off. Welcome back. |
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Member
Posts: 12
Location: ny | Oh my gosh.... to... Funny #3,#7 fit :) |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 362
Location: Allegan, Michigan | Thank you all! I missed being on here. Been busy with physical therapy, heart tests, etc. found out my stroke was caused by a PFO (Patent Foramen Ovale) or simply a hole in my heart. I am doing great. It was a minor stroke, I still have some memory issues and get things mixed up once in a while, but have regained majority of use of my right side and hardly any weakness anymore. It was a HUGE wake up call. I thought I was in great shape but...wasn't. My weight was fine, but my cholesterol was through the roof. I am only 41, shouldn't be having these types of issues yet. so I am on 2 aspirin a day and have to do a mild work out daily, on a strict diet, pretty much if it tastes good I can't have it...lol.. Please if you think you are not a stroke candidate because you are under 45 think AGAIN! Get your cholesterol checked and don't skimp on good food, easy on the fats and carbs! Learn to love chicken and fish...lol...and salad and carrots as snacks. I pretty much asked my doctor if my horses were eating healthier than me and he said yep! I asked him I should start the strategy diet...lol.. He laughed (he has horses too). |
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Ten excercises to be a better equestrian
