It is sort of a jealousy thing with women. We think you don't want to spend time with us and would rather be out riding or hunting or fishing. We also get pissy thinking you are having more fun than we are and we are the ones always taking care of the kids and cleaning the house and making your meals, while you are out having fun with your healthy hobbies. Your wife needs to get over it!!! I used to be like that with my hubby in our first year or so of marriage. I soon learned to deal with the fact that my husband needs these outlets and I would rather him be up at camp or out on the lake fishing than going to the bar with buddies. My husband isn't in to the horse thing too much and yet , he doesn't nag me when I am off to a show or out riding. He knows my horses are my escape and make me happy just like his hunting takes his mind off of work.

Does she like horses? Buy her a horse and get her involved!

Buck,  From my observations you are in the minority.  Usually it is the wife that has the horses and the husband who does the nagging.  I guess its too late to say look around at the show for some of the ladies there who wish the could find a guy interested in horses.  Ask her what she would like to do for a relaxing time.  Offer to watch the little one for the night and let her go out with her friends.  This might be all she needs.  Also make her feel special.  Shock her and bring her home flowers one evening.  I found Walmart has some good choices for less than $5. These are some of the things I found that work for myself. 

Good Luck. Kevin

The question is for you...

Why did you marry her?  It was your choice!

It's like that in my house. Especially when I "had" to buy a new Dodge, new horse trailer. And the farrier bill is here, vet has to come out, time for shots and worming. Don't forget when "we" have to buck 12-15 tons of hay in 95 degree heat. He is always quick to point out how much we spend on them. Then I am quick to point out that I had horses BEFORE i knew him and married him. My horses and I were a package deal! Granted, I only had 1 horse when I met him, but since then, I had to buy 3 more to keep the others company. I have showed him how easy it was to get an elk out deep in the woods. I'm getting him involved more (it's been 10 years) and it is getting a bit better. Like someone else said, try and get her involved with the fun side of horses, not the poop scooping part...that can come later.

It's like that in my house. Especially when I "had" to buy a new Dodge, new horse trailer. And the farrier bill is here, vet has to come out, time for shots and worming. Don't forget when "we" have to buck 12-15 tons of hay in 95 degree heat. He is always quick to point out how much we spend on them. Then I am quick to point out that I had horses BEFORE i knew him and married him. My horses and I were a package deal! Granted, I only had 1 horse when I met him, but since then, I had to buy 3 more to keep the others company. I have showed him how easy it was to get an elk out deep in the woods. I'm getting him involved more (it's been 10 years) and it is getting a bit better. Like someone else said, try and get her involved with the fun side of horses, not the poop scooping part...that can come later.

That sounds very familiar.  I think I hear it about once a month. 

If you have to pay your buddies to come over to your house and feed your DOGS when she's sitting at home, I'd tell her like it is!  That's just pure STUPID!  You let her get away with it now she'll have you cleaning house next.

I'm a chick and gals like that piss me off, can ya tell?

You'd better get that little girl to GROW UP!  Does her mother know she's snotty like that?

So why in the beginning was it all "fine and dandy"? Was that during the courting stage and she felt in order for you to fall in love with her she had to show an interest in your horses?

So what happened to the "fine and dandy"? I still feel she is jealous of your time spent with your 4-legged friends.

But obviously if "mama ain't happy, no one's happy"!

Someone above posted that things were like during their first year of marriage.  I'm hoping you got married before children came into the picture.  SO that puts you outside that window of 12 months.

Maybe it's just me, but doesn't a country girl by definition have the country in them?  Her not caring for your animals is her saying, I'm not pitching in for your things.  If she won't care for them now that might be your warning of things to come.

The choice was/is always yours.  Have you talked with her regarding these matters and what they mean to you?

 She doesn't have any hobbies but Lifetime.

Maybe thats the problem. My husband calls that the man haters channel.  And I agree with him.  Try to take her out and get her interested in something.  I was raised in a childrens home where we were not allowed to have animals and after highschool I didn't have enough to eat for a while, but that doesn't mean my husband can't have outside hobbies/interests.   Sometimes it drives me nuts paying $40 for a concert ticket for him or holding dinner so he can stay after work and lift weights with his friends, but on the other hand, I'm sure I drive him nuts when I buy stuff for the horses or when he keeps our youngest so I can go on a overnite/weekend trailride.  It's a trade off.  I don't like concerts so I keep the kids, and when I ride (with the 9 yr old) he keeps the 3yr old.  There has got to be some "give" or it just won't work.

I could have written this almost verbatim as my story.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars later, I love living on acreage, with a tractor, horses, truck & trailer, camping & riding... in that order. Our marriage is strong because of horses.

Youngbuck.. I hope something happens as good, for you & your wife.

That's a different spin on the usual problem.  Usually it is the husband who is not interested in horses.  I'd be leary of a women who doesn't like horses, that's almost unnatural.  It sounds like you married a couch potato.  What a waste of life, to sit indoors watching daytime TV. That's my version of hell. Show me someone who doesn't like horses and I'll show someone who doesn't know a thing about horses or the lifestyle.   

It boils down too this, if she LOVES you, she will understand that horses are critically important to you, and would be understanding, this is especially true if you were horse crazy before marriage.  You are in tough situation, but she needs to be understanding. Maybe it's not the horses, kind of sounds like she is just unhappy in general.  People, especially family members, that seem to get upset when you are enjoying yourself or having fun, are just unhappy with thier life.  So when they see you having fun, they resent you.  My wifes mother is like this.  She has had the easiest life, her husband, my father-in-law, is a millionaire, they have been married for over 40 years.  She lacks nothing and has never had to work (in the traditional sense) and gets everything she wants.  She can go anywhere and do anything.  What does she do... she sits at home and complains about how tired she is, just a waste of life.  Anyways, because she is so unhappy, she resents it when she sees her daughter happy.  She will never babysit for her so she can work with the horses (working horses makes my wife happy), we have to hire a babysitter. She wouldn't babysit for us so we could go away for our 10 year wedding anniversary (because she might have fun), we had to hire a babysitter.  It's really sad.  But the point is, unhappy people will always be unhappy and critcal of you when ever you are living and enjoying your life, because they are jealous and would rather you be miserable too. 

Horses are a good thing, as long as you're keeping your life in balance, do your thing and ignore her.   

RichB

You hit it right on the nail. Well said.

I've gotta chime in!

My hubby is not horsey at all and his greatest fear is for me to buy another horse & expect him to ride with me.  LOL!   I'm not working so try to ride during the week when he's at work.  I have been on a few weekend rides and gone from Friday to Sunday and feel just a little guilty...but not enough NOT to go. ;)

It's a balancing act but it sounds like your scales are way off. To pay someone to care for your animals when your wife is home & watching TV is too much!  I've never watched Lifetime or whatever... I'm an RFD watcher when I'm in the house.  

I'm sorry you're in this position because life is too short to be unhappy.  I hope you can find a way to get your wife to accept your love for horses.

Good Luck!

this is tough since we are only getting your side of the story. I have no idea how your whole family life is. Suffice it to say, my guess this has alot more to do with than just horses. There is more to this than your telling us ( willingly or unwillingly) My husband is not a horsey guy- I know this and accept this, I cannot change him. For 23 years we have been married, I have had horses about 19 of them. But the family has always come first. I would never set my kids up to live without their father, in a divorce situation. I'd give up the horses before I would let that happen. My childrens home is too important. if your willing to dump the wife and set your child up to live in a broken family just because of a HORSE, then there is something wrong with you. Your first obligation is to your family. Maybe its time you too see a counselor and get to the bottom of this.

My husband is a non horse person but supports my habit.  I can't remember a time when I didn't have a horse and that's how my husband found me.  Sure he still complains when he's putting three loads of hay in the barn in 90 degree weather and fixing fences.  He'll complain sometimes about having to do it for the horses and I'll remind him it's not for the horses but for me and that's what he gets for the pleasure of being married to me.

I think there's more than one issue here and your wife not liking horses isn't the biggest.  Your wife is jealous of the time you spend with them and not her.  There's also a power and control issue and your wife not having a life of her own or hobbies creates another issue.  She's also probably lonely.

It took me a long time to realize in my marriage that my husband neeeeeds his time to himself and when he's out hunting or fishing he comes home happy which makes us both happy.

Make sure you spend quality time with your spouse and try to get her involved.  My mom never rode horses but still enjoyed the camping part and the great people you meet involved with horses. If she doesn't get involved with horses try to get her involved with something else that would give her a hobby.  Encourage her to spend time with friends.  Take her out to eat once a week. 

There's a lot of give and take in a marriage.  I spend one week a year on a horse camping/riding vacation and my husband will take vacation hunting.  Sure I'd much rather have him with me on vacation but at least he doesn't stop me from doing something I love nor do I try to stop him for hunting. 

Just this last weekend I asked my husband "who is cooking supper tonight?"  and he said "I'm hunting" and I said "I'm going riding" then he said "at least we're both getting to do what we like to do" so chili in the crockpot it was.

Just remember you always have a choice and it takes two to make a marriage work.  Good Luck!

I am a kinda horse person. However my wife is a horse nut. I like to hunt and if I ride I want to be well mounted. So we got me a great horse and she has a geed horse and we do the horse togather. However I still got my hunting habit and she has stopped mentioning all the money we spent the 3 years I fished as a pro. So in the end it will all wash out.

I think if she is just sitting at hime watching lifetime. (assolutly the man hatting channel) then she my be over whelmed by being married and having a kid. I suggest you sit down and talk to a neutral party about the problem. It maybe something as simple as she is feeling overwhelmed. I could never have my wife pay someone to feed the animals while I was off an home.

Now that there is funny, I don't care who you are!